13 year ago......Regret always come last

Saturday night is the time of the entire motorcycle gang do the activation convoy around Jakarta. And my gang is kind of gang that always search fray with other gang and also rob the motorcycle from other gang.

This day is my turn to collect all the weapons into one place, which will be used when clash with other gangs.

At that time my friend forgot to left his short samurai and I put it in my pocket, suddenly there's a road block in front of the street and it's one way road, so i can't run from it, and unfortunately we were hit by these road block, and samurai in my pocket become problem to me.

I told the police that my friend had nothing to do with me, so the police released him, hoping my friend will told what's happen to my mom and my friends.

When I arrived at the police station, many journalists, and I highlighted in, when i am put in jail, all prisoner in that jail not allowed me to sleep on up, that means i should sleep on the floor, it's because I am chinese ras, then I fight until finally the police came and asked what is happen, in my mind only one thing, after the police left I would lose my life, but fate say different, they asked my name and asked my problem until I get into this prison.

3 days pass, food that is given only a wet white rice, with wet vegetable and no taste at all, i am feel strange because none of the family or friends come looking for me, then I decided to ask help with man who usually bring food to call my mother, then on the 4th day my mother came with curses and cries, I feel very guilty, my mom fine way to get me out from jail, but the process is not easy, until the day of the 5th, my uncle came to help me out from jail, because if until day of 7, I am not get out from here, most likely I will be mutation to another prison and the process will be more difficult because It have go through the green table, but the fate speak different , at the day of 7, i am already released from jail.

After I get out from jaill, I go to place where my gang usually gather, and I asked why no one told my mom or my family when i am go to jail, they say scared and not want to get involved and go to prison.

After hear that, i know the principles that we profess die and life together, is just bullshit, when you happy we together, when you in trouble you on your own, and a very sore I know from friend, the money that collected for me when i am in jail from our area which became my gang's territory, is used by my friend to buy drugs and go have fun to night club when i am in jail, how can they do this fucking thing, even if they give the money to me, i will not accept it and i will give it back to them, but what they do is when i am in trouble they go have fun without think a little bit about me, is really feel painful, until my mouth can't say anything.

Several months later after that case i am hang out from that geng.
But i still accept they all as my friend. But now i have my own limit for friend meaning.

MY MESSAGE :

* Regret always come last
* Friend is always be with us everyday but best friend only found when we in sadness

12 years ago .... friends not forever.

Today is a very hot noon, like usual i am sit at the stall where all my friends gather.

Suddenly, my friend come with the news that my friend Charlson and frans was fights with people behind the complex at citra 2, and I immediately go ride my motorcylce to the area, when i am get there i am ask the problem with them, and not long from 4-way come so many people into our place, i am go straight to Charlson direction and pull him. I am ride my motor, and i am with Charlson by bringing a friend back into the fights area with the purpose to seek frans who was left behind at the site fights.

When I am arrive at the location, the problem turned into a bigger problem. This problem was brought into the complex security office to be resolved. On the way to the complex security office, many people go straight into our way, and now the people not only teenager, there's old people also. I was in the midst of a crowd can't do anything except fight it, from the back side a wood bar come into me and i am parry with my right arm, suddenly from the front foot flew in my direction, I lift his legs until he fell down, from back a hard metal hit my head until bleed, but I snatched it.

Security guard can't do much because people are too much, and they come more and more. and finally for my safety, we go inside to security office until the police came, but that happened more severe in the position we were sitting behind my desk, i am beaten. I was intending to help, but they thought me as source of problem, then they pushed me into window until the glass break, lucky I use a thick jacket if not maybe it's not my jacket that gonna torn, but my back skin that ripped. Then a dagger flew toward my direction and I was ducking and grazed my right face.

Luckily the police came and then we were brought to the police station, and the Police fine source of problem and they know that the problem is come from my friend, and the people from behind complex want money for peace, if not the problem will be extended. my mother came and cried and curse me with many bad words, and she not even wanna care of me and she went home. My purpose just wanted to help but have an impact on the larger problem, Police also know that i am just a victim, but the people from behind complex they did not care of it. And not long, Charlson and Frans parents came, and they discuss with police and people from behind complex, and after give the money, three of us now can go home.

After i arrive at home my mom once again curse me, and she really upset and mad of me, my face really mess, wounds everywhere, but my mother still helps me to put medicine on my wounds, and she remind me to never do it again, and always think before before do anything.

Now when I met Charlson and Frans in street, they never call or greeted me, in fact because them i am almost lose life, because of them I have many scars and internal injuries that took a long time to healed. From there i always try to give principle to myself to help without expecting something.

MY MESSAGE :

- Always try think far ahead before do something, because we sometimes only see what in front us without think what gonna happen in future.
- Be careful in choosing friends, many friends who need us only to be utilized.
- How many time the word pain you give to your Parents, but your Parents will keep smiling and hope someday you can change into a better person. That's why they look fussy always warn us when we do something.